Making the Most of the Dash

"Dad, I want to be baptized."

"What did you say?" I ask.

My wife Jeanette and I are sitting on the couch, relaxing and cuddling with JJ, our six-year-old daughter.

"I want to be baptized," JJ says.

"Did you hear that, Jeanette?" I ask my wife.

"Do you know what that means, JJ?" Jeanette asks. "Why do you want to be baptized?"

"That's when I get dunked in the water, right?" JJ says.

"It is, Honey," I answer. "But why do you want to do that?"

"Because I want Jesus to wash away my sins."

Oh, wow! Jaylynn wants to accept Jesus as her savior and be baptized at church.

We've been going to church regularly. JJ has also been playing children's Christian songs daily and singing along. She has been reading her children's Bible almost every day. But still, this is unexpected and amazing.

***

I hope that, when I die, the dates are the least important part of my obituary. Sure, the people who care about me will talk about when I was born, when I passed, and how long I was alive, but that's not what matters to me.

While I'm here, I want to show people that God's love is great. And that wasn't always the case.

I heard a song recently that struck a nerve with me. It's "-- Dash" by Crowder and TobyMac. The song made me evaluate what I'm doing with my life. In part, the lyrics say:

There's a day we're born, day we pass

In between, there's just a dash

What on Earth am I doin'?

The Christian pop song also references one of my favorite Bible verses:

"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring — what your life will be! For you are like vapor that appears for a little while, then vanishes." (James 4:14 CSB)

I write often about this verse because it gives my life direction and stresses the importance of action. If there's something I want to accomplish, I can't afford to delay. The time is now.

In the song, meanwhile, the dash represents the time between birth and death. The question is, what are we doing with our dash? Are the years the most significant thing about us, or did we make the dash matter?

So, with that question in mind, what's important to you? And what are you doing about it? Are you putting your goals on the back burner, or do you act like you are just a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow?

It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do with my dash. First, I spent many years pursuing self-serving activities.

For example, there was my music career. I was Kid Soul in the early 199os.

I had a small amount of success with my music dream. I recorded and released rap albums. I performed on stages, sometimes for hundreds of people. My songs made it onto commercial radio stations.

I have also written what I call "look at me" books. My best-selling book was about my professional football experiences as a participatory journalist-wide receiver. It garnered great reviews and sold thousands of copies. I was regularly on television and in newspapers.

Those experiences were incredible, but they were all about me. Beyond the entertainment value, they did nothing to help anybody else.

I desperately wanted to be famous. I thought that would validate my existence. I wanted my dash to be about my earthly accomplishments.

Then, in 2016, after a lifetime of turning down God's love and His offer of salvation, I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.

I wish I could say I immediately and wholly turned my life over to God, but that's not true. I am flesh and bone, and the world gets ahold of me like anyone else. I know that heaven waits for me when I die, but I still want attention and material things every day. I still lose my temper, get jealous, etc.

I am not, and cannot be, a perfect man. I am, however, a changed man. And, by accepting salvation, I also accepted God's Great Commission. Matthew 28:16-20 CSB reads:

"16 The eleven disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped, but some doubted. 18 Jesus came near and said to them, "All authority has been given to me in heaven and on Earth. 19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

As someone reborn, these verses mean I must share God's word with others. It's up to Christians to spread how Jesus Christ died on the cross so we can be forgiven of our sins. In Matthew 28:16-20, in the Great Commission, Father God has assigned us to tell the world how important it is to accept Jesus as our savior. It is the most important act we can take during our dash.

So, was performing in nightclubs and chasing girls and money the best use of my dash? Or would writing books meant to draw attention to my accomplishments be utilizing my dash to the best of my ability?

No.

To be clear, I don't regret those pursuits. They were fun, and I demonstrated a strong work ethic, creativity, and — in some instances — courage. There's nothing wrong with wanting success or fame, but those self-serving actions are not for me anymore. They are in the rear-view mirror.

My goal now is much simpler, and yet it's much grander. I want to show people God's love. I want to help them open their hearts and souls to being reborn. I want to teach them how much you gain by acknowledging that Jesus Christ is the only way to atone for our sinful nature.

***

I always remember those who encourage or support me.

For example, Terry Rooney was the first person to make me believe I could succeed as a writer. He was the subject of a story I was writing for a small running magazine when I was in my early 20s. It was the 1990s. Terry collected thousands of pairs of used running sneakers throughout the Northeast United States and shipped them to Africa. And Terry challenged me to do something more with the story I was working on. He believed the message deserved more than just being in the magazine, where only a few thousand people might see it.

"Jeff," he said. "You're a good writer. The story is going to be good. I can tell. You need to pitch this to the Times Union. You can do this!"

The Times Union is a daily newspaper in upstate New York, and it had a circulation of more than 100,000 when this occurred.

I remember Terry's challenge with perfect clarity because it was life-changing for me. We were riding together in a van, heading to a warehouse where he stored the sneakers. I had a tape recorder going, and I was taking notes as he talked about the importance of helping less fortunate people. Ironically, he also helped me by challenging me to dream bigger. And I took Terry's suggestion.

I also remember the day Times Union editor Mark Sommer called my landline telephone to tell me his paper would publish the story about Terry. The Times Union paid me $100, the first money I made as a writer. I had difficulty not shouting out for joy when Mark delivered that good news.

"Terry was right!" I thought. "I can do this!"

This one story, backed up by the thousands of hours of work I'd already put in learning to tell it compellingly, led to years of assignments with the Times Union. Those stories led to magazine assignments and books and the fulfillment of a little boy's dream to make a living with words.

So, I have always remembered Terry, Mark, and all the others who have made a positive difference in my life.

***

Do you know who else I will remember? The family that led my family to Christ — the Irwins. They did more for me and my loved ones than anyone else.

Here's how it went down:

We had been friends with the Irwins for years. At the time, the married couple had three teenage children, and we had two. So, there was common ground. We knew the Irwins were a church-going family, but they didn't push their beliefs on us. Hangouts typically consisted of attending children's sporting events or getting together for a meal.

Then, the Irwins invited us to a picnic at their church. It was a beautiful summer day, and we had no plans, so we accepted.

While neither I nor my wife had ever denied God's power, we didn't fully recognize/accept it, either.

The picnic was lovely. We ate, played softball, etc. The people were friendly.

"Those people were really nice," I told my wife on the way home. "Do you think they're really that nice? Or were they working some kind of angle?"

Before Jeanette could answer, the kids spoke up from the backseat: "Can we go to church here?"

And just like that, we found the church home we'd spend years at. How could we tell the kids no?

The pastor immediately contacted me and met us at a Dunkin' Donuts to discuss Jesus. Jeanette was saved in the parking lot, and the kids and I were saved at church a week later.

Looking back, I still have no idea why I didn't give myself over to Jesus earlier in life. There had been opportunities. People talked to me about salvation, but I resisted. I feared I'd have to give up things I enjoyed. I never stopped to think about what I'd gain: a loving relationship with God the Father.

It's been years since the Irwins invited us to a church picnic. They changed our lives by following God's demand to share His offer of salvation with others. I think about that day often. I appreciate what the Irwins did for us and desire to do the same for others.

But how?

I believe God gives everyone unique gifts and ways to show people how good His love is.

What's my way? I wondered.

And then I got cancer. Weird segue, right? But that's the silver lining to cancer for me. It has given me a story about how God can get us through whatever we face. I have learned firsthand that He's often the only way to get through the things this world throws at us.

This brings me back to my dash and what I'm doing with it now. I'm no longer trying to get famous. I still enjoy recognition, but it's no longer the most important thing. I want to help people get into heaven like the Irwins did for us.

Surviving cancer has obviously become a big part of my testimony. My book about my cancer journey, Healed on the Inside, allows me to share that testimony with people I may never meet. They can read about God's very real love. I thank God for the opportunity to tell my story in this way.

I doubt I will ever sell thousands of copies of the book or even make enough royalty money to make the hundreds of hours it took to write it financially worthwhile. I don't care. If Healed on the Inside plants a seed of salvation with even one person, it was worth the struggles and effort it took to bring its pages into this world.

***

I have wondered for years if I'd ever lead someone to Christ as the Irwins did for us. So, going back to the first words I wrote for this piece, imagine the feeling in my heart when JJ said, "I want to be baptized."

That moment blew me away.

Whatever else Jeanette and I do with our lives, however we spend the rest of our dash, our accomplishments will always include helping all three of our children accept God's gift of salvation. What could be better?

Thank you, God, for these beautiful moments, for our family, and for Your love. And thank you for the dash and the opportunity to do beautiful things with it.